Inside your Heaven- Carrie Underwood

I just love that song! :) I wish I could sing it, trust me I have tried and tried and even on my best days I cant even make it sound decent! WOW!

So there isnt really a point to this blog. I just felt like writing tonight. Sometimes I just dont know what to think about things. I like having this outlet. I really have been thinking a lot about what true friendship is and what makes a true friend. Finding a true friend is one of the hardest things, at least for me. I dont know if it is because I am easy to run all over or what. Maybe I just have high standards. I was always told (at least in the case of men) never to lower my standards. If someone is really worth it, he/she will meet my standards.

With very little thinking I am going to list the first 5 qualities I look for in friends. A lot of times I do this, I think it reveals truth, for me. Whatever comes out first is most likely what is really on my mind. Todays blog is that. I am not deleting anything and I am putting little thought into this. :)

1. Someone who wont see me as a back up plan. That might not make sense so I will include an example. A friend wants to see a movie. They call everyone and once everyone says no then they come and ask me! LOl and the sad thing is that they tell me! Ummmmm no!
2. Someone that I can trust. When I tell you something I dont expect others to know about it.
3. Someone that can be there for me. I dont think that one needs explaination but maybe it does. When I call and say I need someone (which doesnt happen often) I dont expect them to say sorry I am tired and going to bed! OK maybe that is a high expectation but I do it for them so it only seems fair to expect it of them. And they take advantage of it so I really expect it out of them when it doesn happen often.
4. Someone that knows when to listen and when to shut up or give advice. This is probably one of the hardest thing for people but it is something I really respect and look for in a friend.
5. Someone that sees me just as valuable as friend as I see them. I dont even know if that makes sense. A lot of times I feel/think that I value someones friendship so much more than they do.

I know that I am sensitive when it comes to my friends. I know this about me but I value friendships. And with that I am hurt when a friend hurts me.

I am tired of crappy friends. And throughout today I have been thinking, I guess more making sure that I am a good friend to those I call friend. And I think I am. I would drop pretty much anything to help a friend. I would drive 4 hours just to see them and to stay at someones house I dont know just to see them(when I hate driving), I would drive to their house just to turn on their porch light when I know they are scared to come home to the dark, I would dog sit or even just go over there with short notice to let their dog out, I would come sit with them when they need a friend no matter what I have going on . . etc I have driven to so many friends house for whatever in my pajamas because I know they needed me. I am willing to fly to Midland to see a friend, drive to college station for a short lunch since I know that is the only time they can, text them constantly working around their schedule, etc. . . . seriously I feel I am a good friend.

Wow it does feel good to vent! :) And those of you reading this are great friends to me! :) I am just one of those people that will continue to let people run over them. No offense to Diana but Diana and my dad are the same way. And of course I cant say or do anything about it! I think I said something to one of them once and they just listened hugged me and then nothing changed. LOL! I guess they were in shock and then wrote it off as Christi having a mental breakdown! I do tend to hold things in and then boooooommmmm! Again a family trait (Diana lol though you have gotten better at it).

Well I am stopping there! Sorry to bore you with my mad ramblings. Its late, Im aggitated and I havent been feeling good for like 5 days now (and no I will not being going to a doctor anytime soon) that is not a good combo, EVER!