Faithful, so faithful to me!

Today as I was swimming with Kylie I started to think. I had been working with Kylie, my cousin, learning how to float on her back. As she would lay her head back and begin to rise up almost immediately she would stiffen up and then begin to sink. Though she was in the shallow end and could touch she was just too scared. I would hold her up and then slowly take my arms away and again she would sink. I told her to relax but still she was as stiff as a board. I finally pulled her aside and asked what was the problem. She told me that she was going to drown. I asked her, do you trust me? She shrugged her shoulders then nodded yes. I asked her if she trusted herself? She shrugged her shoulders again and nodded yes. We tried again and she still sank.

As I floated on my back looking at the clouds as she swam I started to think. Why does floating come so naturally to me? Why is such a struggle for her? And then I realized though she was saying she trusted me and herself, her fear was more overwhelming. I thought about that. How I tell Jesus, yes I trust you but my fear overwhelms me and takes over. Just like Kylie I let the fear take control rather than my faith and trust.

I started thinking more about floating. I thought about how at peace I am while I float. And then I thought about it. When I am trusting in Him and letting Him carry me, I will be more at peace. And with experience I have gotten better at floating. Now I dont have to even think about it. The more I put my faith and trust in Him the better I am going to get at it and the more it will become natural to me. (all of this is in theory of course)

I am amazed at how one little swimming outing with Kylie can turn into a revelation on how awesome our God is. Today I got my financial aid info back from SAM and they are offering me only loans. I dont understand this since I am a teacher at a low paying (but absolutely wonderful) district and would definately agree that I am an in-need student but they dont. I dont really know what I am going to do but after this afternoon I have to put my faith in Him. "For He's been faithful, so faithful, so faithful to me."

I dont know who sings this song, I just know our choir sings it.